THELABOURGOSS

MINISTER BEN BRADSHAW SORTS OUT PACKET SIZES

2006-11-13T04:36:00.000-08:00

Labour gay Minister Ben Bradshaw has been busy this week making sure packet sizes are not offensive to supermarket shoppers. Ben will be happy at this news. friendly local reporters on his constituency rag have been telling people for years, "Ben can never loose his seat in Exeter". They rubbish any decent opposition while Ben gets cart blanch on his weekly column. We suggest he employs Dale Winton as an expert advisor to check out those packet sizes.

TONY DUCKS WARRANT

2006-10-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

TONY EVADES QUESTIONING - CASH FOR HONOURS

This week, weds 26th in the home office, my contacts from SC3, told me there had been an arrest warrant written out by the fraud squad but it had not been acted on. The warrant was in relation to cash for honours and forcing Tony Blair to answerer questions, relating to cash for honours.
10 Downing st used something called the Priministers prerogative to stop fraud squad issuing the warrant for the moment, while he finds a scape goat. Tony will not want to face this in the last few months of his leadership

LABOURS HOME OFFICE

2006-10-20T04:10:00.000-07:00

Is John Reid aware that department efforts to hide the true amount of workers at the HO are being hidden by the use of hundreds of expensive temps. The problem is organized crime know this already and use the office facilities to evade capture.
HO data bases are very useful.

LABOUR DON'T WANT YOU

2006-09-26T04:39:00.000-07:00

No one wants you Gordon you old closet poof

UNSEAT BLAIR - ENEMIES WITHIN

2006-09-08T04:40:00.000-07:00

it is being said that charles Clarke's lot will unseat Blair at the next opportunity to make sure Brown continues to look weak. blair's positon looks troubled after mass discontent in the labour back benches.

S&M PREZZER

2006-07-09T12:11:00.000-07:00

My mole tells me the Prezzer sex scandells have not finnished. The naughty, has been using S&M clubs around the country to be beaten like a bad boy. We do understand executive stress has to find a release. Full details comming soon

PRESCOTT THE CLOWN

2006-06-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

STILL LOOKING FOR YOUR CHICKEN DRUM STICKS

PRESCOTT'S YOGA CLASS'S?

2006-06-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

Free yoga classes in Prescott Park

Free outdoor yoga classes will be held every Tuesday at noon in Portsmouth’s Prescott Park in June, July (except July 4) and August. No is experience necessary, all students are welcome. Classes will be offered in Anusara, Ashtanga, Bikram, Flow, Iyengar, Kripalu, Kriya, Power, Sivananda and Zenergy. Participants should bring a yoga mat or beach towel to practice on. In case of rain, classes will be held at Bikram Yoga, 801 Islington St., Portsmouth. For information, visit www.bikramyogaportsmouth.com.
Sponsors of free yoga are: Yoga East, Top Notch Pilates, Portsmouth Center for Yoga and the Arts , O2 Yoga, Ocean Spirit Yoga, My OM Yoga, the Institute for Personal Development, Erin Ehlers, Dover Yoga and Bikram Yoga Portsmouth.
DID NOT KNOW HE HAD A SECRET PARK? PRESCOT LOVE'S HIS SECRET PERKS

TWO CANS

2006-05-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

Prezzers butler, at the grace in favor 10 million pound mansion Dorneywood, set in 250 acres of manicured gardens, is pissed off at the fat oaf leaving cans of larger around the house. Prezzer has been using the place as a babe magnet while the "trouble and strife" festers in hull.
we also hear prezzer has been abusing his position to order chicken drum sticks, using tax payers money, to send out staff after his favorite nosh. finger licking good prezzer

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT

2006-05-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

>> Dogging << Blunkett v WadeJ writes:
"I had lunch at the Great Gallery on Pall Mall last week. David Blunkett was having lunch with Rebekah Wade, Trevor Kavanagh and another man from The Sun. During lunch Rebekah got up to go to the toilet, which prompted the other three men to start whispering together. So no-one realised that at that moment Blunkett's guide dog popped up and ate Ms Wade's Yorkshire Pudding from her plate."

WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT

2006-05-07T01:31:00.000-07:00

TONY'S LOST WEEKEND AFTER THE SHUFFLE

HAIR

2006-05-07T01:15:00.000-07:00

prezzer secretly calls Tony a poof for carrying a big can of hairspray, every where he goes. We always wondered what his PA was carrying.

ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I.................

2006-05-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

SWEATING LIKE A RAPIST

HE WENT DOWN A CLOWN

2006-05-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

3 shaggs true facts

2006-05-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

Tiny cocked oaf John Prescott is best mates with a tranny he used to board with, that my friends is a true fact

GOD INVENTED DRINK

2006-05-05T03:51:00.000-07:00

2 SHAGGS - UR SUCH A LAD

2006-05-05T03:38:00.000-07:00

>> The perils of Pauline <<

More tales of Government folk

Pauline Prescott may not have been entirely surprised about the last week's newspaper reports about her husband's love of blonde staff members. Last year she vetoed her husband's invitation to their son David's wedding to another of his bubbly, blonde, ex-secretaries, Rosie Winterton.

DEAF & STUPID

2006-05-05T03:35:00.000-07:00

Charles Clarke's woes are not complete. Word reaches us from BBC about an interview the Home Secretary once did for them. Clarke had belligerently berated the crew about his ear piece being faulty, and messing up his live appearance, before storming off. The sound technician quickly discovered what the problem was. The ear piece had been jammed... with an enormous piece of ear wax. Expect Clarke to resign in embarrassment.

LABOUR HAS A PROBLEM WITH TROUSERS

2006-04-30T12:33:00.000-07:00

Prescott has been outed at last. The last of the marxists bully boy's and now a bolly bolshavick. touching up the staff like an old dark ages landlord. There are others to come, but labours days are numbered. Blair cannot control the pigs at the troff

3 SHAGGS

2006-04-27T06:03:00.000-07:00

Oh naughty prezzer what have you been doing to the MP for Doncaster centrall. I hear its not only her health you have been affecting.

WELSH WIND BAG

2006-04-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

So Lord Wind bag got done for speeding. Why has he not been fined for all the hot air he has let off over the years? I bet he puts it on his expenses!

2 SHAGGS

2006-04-26T12:32:00.000-07:00

So Prezzer has been shagging his secretary. No wonder he was keen to stay on the battle bus during the election so he could get his end away. It was a hell of a shagg mobile that cost labour £50,000

THE BOOK

2006-04-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

comming soon - THE BLAIR PROJECT. They must be afraid

£250.00 a day to hide Cheries uglyness

2006-04-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

Blair's Wife Spent $13,700 On Hairstyle In One Month

LONDON -- It took $13,700 to make the hair look good for a month.
A London newspaper said Prime Minister Tony Blair's Labor Party spent almost $14,000 on hairstyling bills for Blair's wife during last year's month-long general election campaign.
The Times said the party lists the styling bills as an election expense of $490 a day for a month of campaigning.
A Labor spokeswoman responded, "So what?" She said Cherie Blair worked hard and is enormously popular, then added, "Don't forget, we won the election". That about all they could say!

MING WINS

2006-03-02T11:38:00.000-08:00

It is common knowledge that new Lib/dem leader put the boot in for his old mucker, whisky fuels Charles Kennedy. it was Westminsters worst kept secret that Kennedy liked the bottle and Ming seized his chance.
We wanted to know if kennedy wanted to get his own back, we know where the S&M brothel is that Ming uses in Belgravia. Apparently he is a good tipper and the Tom's won't talk.

BROWN WILL NEVER BE.....

2006-02-17T14:29:00.000-08:00

The pics of you with young boys and your sham marriage(beard) will serve that you never become PM. Apart from that you are dour and boring

CHERIES WANDERINGS

2006-02-17T11:24:00.000-08:00

My moles tell me of cherie's secret liasons with other man and their demands to go to their hotel rooms.

BLAIR AN MI5 AGENT!

2005-10-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

Is Tony Blair an MI5 agent?

Ex-MI5 officer David Shayler alleged so at a public meeting in Bristol last week, as was reported in the
Mr Shayler believes Dr David Kelly was an MI6 agent who was murdered and he alleged that Tony Blair worked for MI5 before he became Labour leader.Unfortunately, Shayler's exact words were not reported, making it difficult to assess the claim. Luckily, I found a recording of his words at this website.
Shayler was speaking to 9/11 sceptics in Bristol. They showed a video, then he spoke and took questions. The topic moved from 9/11 to the July 7th bombings in London. Shayler suspects the British security services might have had a hand in 7/7. An audience member asked about MI5's possible complicity in 7/7, and, if so, whether Tony Blair's government was involved or were kept in the dark. This was Shayler's response [my transcription]:
Yeah, I mean, I don't know how involved Blair is - it's a difficult question to answer. I mean, certainly I know, as I say, the intelligence services do things behind the backs of government, the cabinet and parliament - it's very easy in this country to do that, as there's no oversight of the services. And, in some ways, they don't want the government to know, so, when they are sent out to deny these things, as Robin Cook was, they can do it looking honest, basically.

TONY'S DRUG SHAME

2005-09-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

When Blair was a long haird hippy at oxford and had a womans name, out tony was in a rock band. determined to live the life style he used to have his coke lined up on a amp already cut up into lines.
Marion as he liked to be known used to have a quick toot in between songs.

BLAIRS SECRET LIFE

2005-08-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

Not only has Tony been enjoying a 5 star holiday, before his break he has been enjoying sneaky nights out at a London night club - I will let you all know when I get him snapped.

LABOUR BLUE SNARFING

2005-08-19T00:36:00.000-07:00

Labours depths of foul play knows no bounds. We know a despirate Labour on the ropes due to miss-government have been using the latest tecknology to spy on our new Wesminsyer HQ.
If you see ant Labour skivvies huddled at the back of the downstairs coffee shop, huddled around a laptop, report them to the police at they are trying to use wireless tecknology to get info from our office network.

CHERIE'S BIG SECRET

2005-07-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

Apart from being a bike before meeting Tony, Euan is not Tony's son. Euan belongs to an Artist friend of Cherie. Keener Blair watchers, will observe Cheri spending more time at Chequers or are Caplin's visits to No 10 for deep relief.

TONYS BIG SECRET

2005-07-03T15:57:00.000-07:00

Tony's liason with lord Erving went deepr than mentor and protogie. They were both charged with lewedness in a public place in 1983. It has been hushed up using derry's extensive contacts.

BROWNS BIG SECRET

2005-07-03T15:55:00.000-07:00

Gordon hides a big secret. Before his marriage he was photographed with young boys in puerto rico. Intelligence has the pics as he used to hang out in the Kensington who stumbled on his perchon when looking for spy's

CHERIE MONEY PANIC

2005-05-31T00:21:00.000-07:00

As hubby jets off for a summit with George Bush in the run up to the G8 conference in July, it seems that Mrs Blair/Booth is also planning to cross the Atlantic, but for very different motives. While Tony wants to save the world Cheri just wants to save a chunk for herself and collect a fee running into tens of thousands of pounds from addressing an event billed as an evening with the ‘Trailblazing First Lady of Downing Street’ for which 2,500 tickets, ranging from £30 to £330, including dinner and coffee with the star speaker have been sold. Tony still has a £3.6 million pound mortgage. When Tony loses his job, Britains worst property traders, THE BLAIRS, could be homeless.

IT'S SHIT AT NO 10

2005-05-29T04:00:00.000-07:00

Those who live in the Westminster area will know that at certain times, rains, tides and over capacitated sewerage pipes over flood. It's good to know the smell reaches number 10. Tony is spending £30 millions to fix the problem or is he sure it's not his cabinet.

A WONDERFUL WORLD FOR WOODWARD

2005-05-23T11:55:00.000-07:00

More double standards from Shaun Woodward, the Tory turncoat MP with more homes than friends, is back in the news again – but for the wrong reasons. After months of speculation the newly appointed junior Northern Ireland minister has confirmed that he is selling his stately home in West Oxfordshire, Sarsden House and its 459 acres of parkland. With an asking price of £25 million, its sale ought to net him more than enough to buy several wards in his new constituency of St Helens South. But tucked way in the small print of this newspaper story is an intriguing fact about another family purchase – that of a £950,00 Georgian town house in a fashionable part of north Oxford where his wife, the £100 million Sainsbury heiress, Camilla, will live during the week, near where their children go to school. Come again? Near where their children go to school? The nearest state schools for Sarsden are far away in rural Chipping Norton. Oxford, on the other hand, is known for a glut of exclusive private schools for boys and girls alike. Surely the Woodwards, who even lecture dinner party guests on the need for inclusivity and social justice, aren’t sending their little ones to fee paying selective schools? Impossible!

LABOUR'S INDUSTRY CASH COW

2005-05-22T16:57:00.000-07:00

a total of 33 former ministers, mandarins, diplomats and military chiefs have received official blessing to take up posts in the City and British and international industry in the past year. tHE CASH COW MOVES ON FOR LABOUR.

ITS NASTY

2005-05-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

Labours Peter Hain was once mistaken by people as Blake Carrington from Dynasty.

NO STOP TILL CHEQUERS

2005-05-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

Speaking at the Chambers Global Awards 2005 last night, Cherie Blair said her husband was "very upset" he could not play tennis this weekend because of the injury. So much for 5 times a night or should you call carrol!

WHO ARE THEY?

2005-05-20T04:10:00.000-07:00

Mohammed Al-Fayed bought into old Britain: Harrods. Now his son is buying into the latest British trend: group sex. Al-Fayed Jnr is running sex parties in West London, where among the daisy-chaining throng, several prominent LABOUR politicians have been spotted showing off their large majorities.

PREZZERS ELECTION DIARY

2005-05-18T04:27:00.000-07:00

An interesting quip from Prezzers election video diary, shows the rotund bruiser ironing his trousers on election evening. Prezzer then multitasking, ironing and talking, says to his family, " I hope they have a separate room for me. I don't want to hang around with the other candidates!" Suits you Sir.

2 DOGS BLUNKETT

2005-05-17T03:34:00.000-07:00

after Black rod did his bit and invited the members to the upper house, all the MP's paraded along the ajoining corridor. I noticed Blunkett with two dogs, to show him the way, but then i realised one was Rt Hon Margaret Beckett MP. An easy mistake to make i hear you say!

Galloway - Goodbye

2005-05-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

Galloway : Oath Oaf
A reader, Gary, writes to make an interesting observation about the member for Baghdad Central & Bethnal Green.
Galloway left London to fly to Washington for his sparring match with the US Senate sub-committee which has accused him over the oil scandal. Problem for him is, that he has not sworn the oath in the House of Commons. He will not be back in London until after the Queen's Speech, which is the deadline when all MPs have to have affirmed or taken the oath.Unless the Speaker lets him off, if he sets foot on the floor of the House when he gets back, he will be fined £500, and his Bethnal Green and Bow seat would be automatically vacated. Thats if the yanks haven't sent him to the Guantanamo bay.

RED KENS BENDY BUS

2005-05-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

The Red ken experiment has reached yet another finantial crisis. The bendy busses not only caught fire but are a fare dodgers paradise. Millions are being lost through cash strapped Londoner's trying to get to work for free. It's almost as much as Ken's taxi bills.

SPAM BLAIR

2005-05-09T13:10:00.000-07:00

Blair spam hack attack hits UK

Virus writers are using claims that Tony Blair's email address has been hacked as a ruse to trick punters into visiting sites hosting malware. The false claim was made in a series of spam messages sent out on 6 May, the day after a UK general election that resulted in Blair's Labour party return to office for a record third term.
Recipients of the "BBC: Tony Blair email account hacked!" messages were invited to visit a site that claimed to offer a screenshot of "Blair's hacked account". In reality visitors were sent to a site harbours a series of Trojan horses that aim to steal confidential information from infected PCs, including sensitive online banking account details. Users are advised to be wary of any such unsolicited message.

THE FUTURE

2005-05-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

Yes it will be great fun to continue to reveal the dirty secrets of government! There is lots more to come!

SEX GOD TONY

2005-05-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

Horrible revelations in the tabloids shocked voters by claiming Tony and Cherie still have sex. Even worse Cherie reckons Tony has a great body even though he has gained weight during the election. The reason. Tony fell off his running machine, hurt himself and has not fully recovered. He is still fit for horizontal gymnastics we are glad to report or are we!

TONY TAXATION BLAIR

2005-05-05T08:05:00.000-07:00

Hotly-debated rumour of the week is that Brown is going to put capital gains tax on profits from your primary residence, as well as fancy second homes, cottages in Wales, sheds on the Isle of Grain etc.So it is true?Tony Blair to GMTV’s Fiona Philips: “I know about every election they run this rumour, usually in certain of the newspapers and it’s complete nonsense. There is absolutely no way we’ll do that.”That’s it then – they’re definitely doing it :(

PREZZER ON THE PROWL

2005-05-05T08:02:00.000-07:00

John Prescott had to walk over a pile of used syringes and crack pipes to get to a Mole’s door whilst campaigning in Camden Town. As soon as our Mole opened the door, he grabbed their hand, started shaking it and telling them how he is going to 'clean up Camden'. The Mole pointed at all the needles and crap in the front yard and told him to start with that lot.Exit Prescott, sharpish.

DRINK OR NOT TO DRINK - THAT IS..........?

2005-05-05T07:58:00.000-07:00

kenedy on his last election jolly claimed people who did not listen to their doctors advice were irresposible. Does that cover smoking and drinking, when advised to stop by your doctor?

GALLOWAY IS JUST BAD.

2005-05-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

George Galloway
Imagine if you worked for an accountancy practice in Glasgow, which dealt with oil company accounts.Imagine if you were contacted by someone wanting to know if your company could look after some property rights in the Middle East.Imagine if it turned out Iraqi deputy Prime Minister Tariq Aziz had gifted a number of oil fields to a certain British representative of the people.Imagine if that lucky person couldn't look for investors to assist with exploiting the oil because of sanctions, and had lost a tidy little pension in the desert since Coalition tanks went in.Wouldn’t that be *fucking weird*?

ELECTION BLUNERS BY PETER HAIN

2005-05-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

Peter Hain thought it would be a great PR stunt to leaflet drop outside a london train station. The station master did not think so and asked them to move on. Don't net work rail and labour work together! but Hain is used to controversy. EUROPE MINISTER Peter Hain shocked many Labour supporters, by his harsh words about immigration and asylum. He claimed, "Muslim immigrants can be very isolationist and need to integrate more." He implied they bring racist attacks on themselves.

ass - kick - one man competition

2005-05-02T04:02:00.000-07:00

So the old labour half wit george Galloway has been shagging around during an election. What do the voters think of the sparing labour duo King and Galloway. Georgies wife spilled the beans for maximum effect.

WINDBAG-DONKEY-PASTURE

2005-04-30T05:22:00.000-07:00

Neil Kinnock, the former Labour leader, suggested that the Prime Minister will not seek to prolong his leadership "for the sake of it. "
"He’s not looking for a page in the history book; he’s got that in any case," Lord Kinnock said in a GM-TV interview to be broadcast tomorrow. "He’s not looking to extend the chapter for the sake of it."
Peter Kilfoyle, a former Labour defence minister who ran Mr Blair’s campaign for Labour leader in 1994, but who has been critical of the Prime Minister since leaving the government, also suggested that Mr Blair could step aside early.
"I don’t buy into this four to five years nonsense," said Mr Kilfoyle on the BBC’s Daily Politics.
"I think the attacks on him personally will have got to him very, very much indeed. Dependent on the numbers of any Labour majority [if they win the election], Tony could very well say, ‘I’ve had enough of this’." BLAIR SHOULD COME DOWN HARD ON THESE IDIOTS DE LA VILLAGE

LABOURS PHOENIX

2005-04-29T04:59:00.000-07:00

Tucked away inside the Labour business manifesto, is the commitment to

"Introduce a new award for Phoenix Entrepreneurs to encourage positive public recognition for individuals whose first business did not succeed but who have come back, worked hard and built successful enterprises. HOPE IT WILL BE BETTER THAN PHEONIX MG

RATS LAEVING THE SINKING SHIP

2005-04-26T14:57:00.000-07:00

Corbyn?
Skinner?
Abbot?

DEMOCRATS DOMINATION - BLAIRS - BROWNS - CLINTONS

2005-04-24T14:06:00.000-07:00

The future is Democratic, if labour win this time. the venear is thin. Today Blair and Brown held the stage for world poverty day. browns face a picture, hating every minute, when Tony strutted the stage. Tony offered to pay the 3 world debts with our tax money. It's worse, they are serious. Move to the 3rd world its where the money will be.

WELSH WIND BAG

2005-04-21T11:20:00.000-07:00

Kinnock was on Tv reminiscing about the good day's when he was at the helm and how tony's such a great chap and how they all love each other and how
every man loves his mum. The windbag has to go one step further and claimed, mum could have run a small country and Tony must win and and and!
I also miss the old day's when 18 years of Tory leadership made us feel great and with our republican friends sealed the fate of communism. It make's you wonder what Tony's new labour has spent 8 years doing. The future is Blair will be in Europe and Brown slips into number 10.

LETS DO LABOUR BUSINESS

2005-04-20T08:26:00.000-07:00

You are a businessmen, you give a £50,000 donation to the Labour party, you get to have a business breakfast with the Prime Minister, you give a second donation of £50,000 to the Labour party while the government is weighing up who should be awarded a £32m contract you are bidding on. Surprise, you get awarded the contract, you make £20m profit on it. What value for money for the taxpayer, what a return on investment!Loaded now, you give another £500,000 donation to New Labour, and get made a life peer by Mr Blair six weeks later. The amazing life and times of Paul Drayson and Tony Blair...Now voters might want to find out what that breakfast meeting was about, that is after all what the Freedom of Information Act is all about. Was something fishy on the menu? We the people like to see what are rulers are up to, what deals they make, after all its our democracy innit? Ms Abraham the parliamentary ombudswoman agrees: "I consider that very little harm would be caused by the release of the comments attributed to [Lord Drayson] and that any potential harm is outweighed by the public interest in making that information available."The government claims to have shredded documents that could have revealed why the now Lord Drayson received the invitation from Downing St. The Cabinet Office said: "Any other relevant documents had been routinely weeded and destroyed in accordance with normal records management and destruction policy".Hey, that's politics with integrity...

PARTY GIRL OONA

2005-04-15T04:48:00.000-07:00

Oona King MP used to read Mixmag. She also used to love her E's... but you didn't read it here. (hOLY mOLY)

KENNEDY SHAGGED OUT

2005-04-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

New dad Kennedy fumbled his way through his press call today looking totally shagged. kennedy said the Pope, Prince Charles & having a baby had taken its toll. I think he forgot to mention the 5 fingers of wiskey he quaffed, to try to get some sleep before an early start today. Or let's face it, he's just crap!

EGGOMMETER RESULTS

2005-04-12T17:55:00.000-07:00

London - British police arrested two men on suspicion of throwing eggs at Prime Minister Tony Blair's car at an election campaign event, police said on Tuesday. I see two jags has been hit a couple of times also. Good hunting chaps!

CHERIE AND OONAH

2005-04-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

What a couple of politically correct cows those two are. It's no surprise Galloway is in the lawyers most of the time successfully suing her for being a bitch.

NOT ANOTHER GINGER

2005-04-12T17:48:00.000-07:00

Congrats to Lib/dem baby Donald.

LIB DEM'S STOP CHICONNERY

2005-04-10T06:36:00.000-07:00

Lib Dem moves to prevent the SNP using a recorded phone message from James Bond actor Sir Sean Connery to canvass support in the election.
Acting on a complaint from the Lib Dems, Information Commissioner Richard Thomas has warned that calls using the message would not be legal unless those receiving them had given prior permission.
But Mr Salmond said the calls would “probably be more effective than any single leaflet or advertising tactic in the campaign” and suggested that the Lib Dem complaint might rebound on them.
He added: “The Information Commissioner for England, at the instigation of the Liberal Democrats, is citing a Euro-directive to attempt to stop the world’s most famous Scot speaking to other Scots in a General Election campaign.
“I don’t think that will go down well with the Scottish people, most of whom are anxious to have a phone call from Sean Connery.”
yes! when actors step into the political arena you know there is going to be trouble. a bit like when connery was filming with cath Zeta-Jones and were caught together in a film trailor together. i wonder if we can have a taped message of that!

WATCH OUT THERE A CAMPBELL ABOUT

2005-04-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

Campbells back

Labour’s spin doctor is back and attended labours press call today. I saw Campbell walking up Victoria St this week walking outside Scotland yard looking very casual and wearing a trendy charity bracelet. It worries me he was loitering near our HQ!
Watch out for more spin in the political papers. I understand he has a bevy of femail editors he services on a regular basis to get good copy!

PRESCOTT'S BATTLE BUS SCARES SHOP OWNERS

2005-04-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

Two jag’s Prescott rolled into east London, yesterday, trying to drum up support for Labour , in the big white battle bus. Worried shop owners shut their shops up, as they know Prescott loves nicking things. Ever since Prescott was on charges of theft when he was a P & O ships purser , the thrill of stealing has never left him. Sneaking in a bit of duty free does not cut it any more for the tubby thrill seeker.
Shop owners were heard to shout, “ keep an eye out for you till’s”. Others just closed shop until he left.
Prescott trying to get votes form thousands of new immigrants living in the East End said “ It’s lovely here, I wouldn’t mind living here myself”. With a big wave he was back on the battle bus stacked full of pie’s and drove off.

BLAIR'S NEW FACE

2005-04-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

Has Blair had a nip and tuc facial or is he on the botox jabs. It is plain to see that the crows feet around his eyes have disappeared in the last 6 months. Tony always known for his cheesy grin, constantly smirking is the common image known by the British public. We are accustomed to Charles Kennedy's hungover look, always bleary eyed from lots of whiskey to calm his nerves.
Cosmetic surgery is so advanced, now slippery Tony, could have had it done in a few hours and recovered over a weekend. Surrounded by an army of make-up specialists, any initial scaring could easily be hidden. Tony is definitely showing a sleeker look from his eyes to his side burns. Tony counld now be a metrosexual. We wonder if he waxes.

BLAIRS BODYGUARD IN VIP SEX ORGY

2005-04-04T12:19:00.000-07:00

VIP ORGY
Mar 20 2005
Royal firearms officer caught romping among 300 VIPs on giant bed at £15m mansion
World Exclusive by Graham Johnson (Investigations Editor) and Grant Hodgson

Tony Blair's female bodyguard, has been caught having sex on film at Britain's biggest VIP orgy.
Firearms cop Sarah Cox was snapped romping at the sex party alongside 300 other depraved swingers.
After tearing off her clothes, WPC Cox - who guards PM Tony Blair at Chequers - and her cop boyfriend plunged into the orgy on a 20ft by 14 ft steel-reinforced bed.

ORGY: Revellers writhe on the huge orgy bed
Fever Club orgy bosses put Cox, 26, and PC Bernard Bourdillon, 36, in charge of security at the £150-a- couple party in a £15million London mansion.
But the police couple are regular swingers too - and as the night wore on THEY threw off their clothes and joined the throng of writhing bodies.
Thames Valley Police chiefs will be horrified by their antics and the couple - who boasted about borrowing police metal detectors to search guests - could face disciplinary action.
Only Britain's elite, including aristocrats, politicians, civil servants and lawyers, are allowed to join the secret society, which met for its first orgy of 2005 last Saturday night.
Rich brokers from City institutions Citigroup, Credit Suisse, Deutschebank and Commerzbank indulged in a free-for-all with scientists, lawyers, corporate directors, a TV presenter, fashion models and an Olympic athlete.
In an undercover operation, Sunday Mirror investigators posing as security men looked on as a mass of naked men and women romped on a pink satin-covered bed in the main candle-lit "playroom". Another 11 couples were having sex on marble-topped gilt tables, and on the floor two women were fondling each other while performing sex acts on FIVE men.
The night of debauchery began at 9pm. Guests arrived in a fleet of limousines and stepped on to a purple carpet across the pavement outside the 24-bedroom former ambassadorial residence opposite BBC Radio One's offices in London's Portland Place. One Italian heiress was dressed in a £4,000 Dolce & Gabbana gown.
They were greeted by the party's organisers - the men behind Fever Parties are property tycoon Jonathan Friedman, 41, and married right-wing anti-Europe politician David Russell Walters, 44.
The pair use professional events organiser Emma Sayles, 26, to front their organisation. Her father is a Cambridge-educated former Welsh Guards' officer.
For security reasons members were ticked off a photographic guest list to make sure that there were no impostors.
Then they were searched by off-duty Thames Valley firearms cops Cox and Bourdillon using handheld metal detectors.
Their job was to take mobile phones and cameras from guests.
Dark-haired bisexual Cox wore a tight-fitting, short flower print dress and Bourdillon wore beige chinos and a blue shirt. "A couple of people got stroppy," said Bourdillon, an armed police constable based at High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. "But once we explained the need to do it they were like, 'Oh, all right then'."
Asked if he had found any illegal substances, Bourdillon said: "The only thing I've found is four Viagra. They were confiscated."
Cox, a PC based in Windsor, Berkshire - near where Prince Andrew lives - added: "That's our big worry. If we found anything we'd have to confiscate it because of our jobs." Later our investigators found evidence of drugs, smuggled in by guests, in the venue's toilets.
The party's floor manager was also offered a powdered cocktail called Magic by a guest - a combination of pure ecstasy and speed.
In the lobby the guests were greeted by a tanned semi-naked harpist wearing a white basque and lacy stockings who later joined the sex party during her break.
The immaculately-groomed guests were then led through to a cocktail reception where they chatted politely. Celebrity DJ Dan Lywood, former boyfriend of Zoe Ball, played dance music. Beautiful guests had flown in from New York, Paris, Italy, Germany and Holland especially for the party.
At about 10.30pm the first couple followed a trail of red rose petals up the sweeping stone staircase, through oak-panelled doors into the main playroom. The woman, a marketing executive with blonde bobbed hair, stripped off to reveal a G-string and began having sex with her partner, a city banker.
A second couple played with a sex toy while being watched by a group of women. After about half-an-hour there were 60 people having sex on the vast bed, reinforced with steel plates to bear the weight.
The room, decorated by film set designers for £7,000, was candlelit. Classical music played in the background. Around the bed three couples were having sex against radiators and two women fondled each other while performing sex acts on several men.
One fashion model having sex with a lawyer groaned in ecstasy. Another man fed her grapes from a cut-glass bowl, Belgian chocolates and Laurent Perrier champagne straight from the bottle while fondling her breasts.
The owner of the £15million mansion, toff Edward Davenport, was filmed kissing and fondling a woman on the bed.
Davenport, a property developer who is worth £133million, also has residences in Monte Carlo, Mayfair and the West Country.
He made a fortune organising debauched Gatecrasher Balls for public school teenagers in the 1980s but was later jailed for VAT fraud on tickets.
After finishing their security duties Cox and Bourdillon came upstairs. Cox took off her dress to reveal a large, tribal-style tattoo across her back and an expensive black thong and bra.
Sunday Mirror investigators saw Cox perform oral sex on Bourdillon in front of 100 naked guests while sitting on the edge of the bed. They then jumped on top to have sex with each other.
Cox later came out of the playroom wearing only a black choker and her underwear and danced provocatively with Bourdillon in the cocktail lounge.
She told our investigators: "I work as one of Prince Andrew's protection officers. It's a good laugh. I know he gets quite a bit of stick in the Press but he's actually an alright bloke. He's not so aloof with people once he gets to know them. He calls me by my first name. I work in firearms, I'm trained in that. I just have to accompany him with other protection officers whenever he's being driven about."
Talking about using police equipment to carry out searches at the orgy, she added: "We used the equipment from the station. There's no problem with it because they're not supposed to be in use.
"Next time I'll bring some evidence bags. I could have used them to put people's belongings in."
Cox revealed that she is bisexual. She said: "I'm in a committed relationship so these events are good for me because it allows me to explore my sexuality.
"It can be a bit uncomfortable if I'm with Dillan (the name she uses for Bourdillon) and I see someone I fancy but who he doesn't like because I can't always go with them, so I just have to go, 'Aww'."
Bourdillon said: "We've been doing it for a couple of years.
"We weren't going to work here tonight because we weren't sure if one of us was going to be on a shift.
"It turned out all right though and Johnny (Friedman) phoned us begging to help out. We don't mind doing it as a favour. We get in for free and have a few drinks.
"It's the first time we've done an event as big as this."
Referring to the metal detectors, Bourdillon said: "We've brought them from the station. There's no problem because there are lots of them up there so even if something happens tonight they won't be missed."
Later he denied taking them from any police station, saying they were from "central stores".
"No one else at the station knows that we go to parties like this.
"I don't really mind but I don't want them to because all they will do is take the Mick.
"I'm not really comfortable here. It's too formal. There's too many people."
After deciding that was enough, they dressed, had a couple more drinks, then left.
Last night Bourdillon confirmed he and Cox had been at the party, but denied they'd been moonlighting as they were not paid.
"I certainly haven't done anything illegal or against any codes of conduct," he said. "We were there as a favour to friends."
A Home Office spokesman said: "Police officers must inform their chief officer if they wish to pursue outside business interests for gain, be it financial or otherwise.
"It is then down to the chief officer to give permission.
"It would be inappropriate to use police equipment in non- police matters."
Fever owner David Russell Walters told our investigator: "We asked them (Cox and Bourdillon) to frisk people down. We didn't pay them because they are clients of ours.
"We took it that they would come and do that a for a few hours and they would be free to enjoy the rest of the party .
"They got free entry in exchange."
Edward Davenport said: "I was there a little bit. I am not a swinger.
"I am used to quite wild parties. But I didn't get involved.
"I'm not embarrassed about it. They had a good-looking crowd there. Mostly models."

CHERIE IN SEX DEATH PLOT

2005-04-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

Cherie behind Plot to kill Tony Blair?By our man in black behind the bush.

After shocking disclosures by an unnamed Sun reporter that Cherie Blair is dissatisfied with her sex life — or possibly just the Prime Minister's neglect of her 'love tunnel', the buxom barrister has now been accused of trying to bump off the source of her frustration
Mrs Blair is on record as saying that if Tony doesn’t pull his socks up, or at least take them off while he's wrapping his laughing gear around her beef curtains, she may be tempted to seek satisfaction elsewhere.
Chirpy Cherie is said to be particularly miffed by the reluctant muff diver's 'close' relationship with international peacekeeper and liberal philanthropist, George W Bush.
In an exclusive interview with Utterpants that never took place in a rural Buckinghamshire location we are not at liberty to name, the frustrated forty-something lashed out at the man who is no stranger to premature capitulation. "I don’t think the fat salary and gigantic pension benefits Tony and I are getting compensate for the life of chastity I’ve been living since the selfish sod fell under the spell of George Bush. Only the other day I heard him telling George how much he missed not having a firm dick behind him."
"I think he may have been referring to Mr Cheney," we replied."I mean, if only, he'd fall under my bush, but he prefers to hang out with those dreadful Americans oiks. Do you know, I’ve been buying thongs and nipple clamps, and all manner of sex toys, setting candlelight dinners and playing romantic music in an effort to get his snake out of his trousers. For a man who's convinced there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, he seems curiously incapable of finding the only bloody weapon I'm interested in.""Why not use an escort agency?" we asked.
"Are you kidding? I daren’t shag a male escort. It would be all over the papers in no time. I’ve even bared my soul to Jack Straw’s wife and asked her if she gets any more than I do but it was the same story, Jack hasn’t so much as rubbed himself against her cheeks in months. Mind you, if I were married to him, I’d give him a pretty wide berth too. It’s not as if I’m an unattractive woman. I always get wolf whistles from the junior clerks in chambers and sometimes the defendants and jurors even pinch my bum when I’m in court. I don’t mind telling you I find that rather flattering. But if this goes on much longer I’m afraid I'm going to do something desperate to Tony. By the way, are you doing anything tonight?”

KEEP BLAIR AWAY FROM CHILDREN

2005-04-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

Tony Blair's 'pink lobby'Homosexuals in UK propose teaching about anal sex to 4-year-olds

Editor's note: WorldNetDaily's roving international correspondent Anthony LoBaido, who recently filed an in-depth report on the disturbing cultural and political direction Great Britain has taken under the leadership of Prime Minister Tony Blair, here describes the influence of the UK's homosexual activist movement on Blair's administration.
By Anthony LoBaido© 2001 WorldNetDaily.com
LONDON -- It is well known in British political circles of all stripes that homosexuals wield considerable influence in the cabinet and government of British Prime Minister Tony Blair.
In fact, the homosexual activist agenda has provided the impetus for some of Blair's more controversial political causes. When he successfully instituted a policy accommodating homosexuals in the British armed forces, some of that nation's top officers resigned in protest, including famed Brig. Gen. Pat Lawless.
And lawmakers in the Labour Party overwhelmingly backed -- three times -- a bill to lower the age of consent for "consensual sex" from 18 to 16, spurred on by Blair's fierce leadership on the issue. In cheering on the successful 263-102 vote last August, Blair claimed he wanted to bring the UK's laws on homosexuals more "into line with the rest of Europe."
In that, he is correct. In Malta, Holland, Portugal and Spain, the age of consent is 12. In Austria, Iceland, Italy, San Marino and Slovenia, the age is 14. And in the Czech Republic, Denmark, France, Finland, Poland, Slovakia and Sweden, the age of consent is 15. It is 16 in Germany, Luxembourg (18 for homosexuals) and Britain. And last fall, Israel also lowered its age of consent from 18 to 16.
The measure was opposed vigorously in the House of Lords, which had thrown out such a proposal twice before. Home Secretary Jack Straw said that lowering the age of consent for homosexual men was all about creating a British society "free from prejudice."
Since that time, Blair has altered the House of Lords -- and its hereditary privilege -- and has instead essentially filled the parliament's upper chamber with hand-picked people who concur largely with his agenda.
Blair's team includes avowed homosexuals: Chris Smith, minister for heritage and Angela Eagle, junior environment minister. Also, Ben Bradshaw, MP for Exeter and Stephen Twigg, MP for Enfield, Southgate. In fact, there are an estimated 40 homosexual Labor members of parliament according to insiders of both parties.
Bradshaw was recently awarded a House of Commons "Spouse's Pass" for his "partner," Neil Dalgleish, who now is permitted to use the Commons "Family Room" and to work out in the gym. Bradshaw is also pressing for "travel rights" for Dalgleish, including 15 first-class return rail tickets between Westminster and the constituency at a cost of 2,000 pounds per annum to the British taxpayer.
Concerning the influence of the UK's homosexual activist agenda on Blair, a prominent member of Parliament told WorldNetDaily he personally had opposed the lowering of the age of consent because it "left young and immature men open to the advances of older homosexual men."
He added, "It would change the law regarding non-homosexuals as well. The dirty old man in the raincoat sitting in the park. It would give an old man the legal right to bugger a young woman."
Along with lowering the age of consensual sex to 16, the Blair "pink agenda," as it is derisively referred to by some conservatives, had sought to repeal what is commonly known here simply as "Section 28." Passed under the government of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher as part of the 1988 Local Government Act, Section 28 outlaws the "promotion" of homosexuality by local authorities.
If and when Section 28 is finally overturned -- and it is at the top of the homosexual activist agenda in Great Britain -- a new sex education guide is ready to be employed in primary schools. Called "A Whole Approach to Sex Education," the new curriculum states flatly: "Children should not be taught that homosexuality is wrong."
Referring to Section 28's prohibition of promoting homosexuality, the producers of the sex-education guide claim in it that "the law does not apply to individual teachers or schools and does not limit teaching about the issue. ... Teachers should remember that we all have a 'sexual career' and for many this will include homosexual experiences at some time in their lives."
"A Whole Approach to Sex Education," reviewed by WorldNetDaily, also presents ways "teachers can discuss with children as young as 4, homosexuality and anal sex." It emphatically asks teachers "not to try to promote any type of family or home life as the norm," and urges businesses to hire lesbian and homosexual couples with children.
This time around, Blair lost the vote to repeal Section 28, as Baroness Thatcher -- who, though long out of office, showed up for what she considered an extremely important vote -- and 16 Labour ministers rallied behind the Conservative Party in a legislative victory for the Tories. The legislation was voted down 270 to 228 in the House of Lords.

LITTLE BRITAIN STARS SEE THROUGH TONY'S ELECTION PLOY

2005-04-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

TV gossip: Little Britain snubs Tony Blair
Little Britain’s Matt Lucas and David Walliams have refused to give Tony Blair a guest spot on their showThe Prime Minister recently got his “people” to ask Matt and David if he could make an appearance on the show. However, the award-winning comedy duo weren’t so keen on the idea, seeing through Tone’s pre-election push for popularity. Apparently, Tony was interested in appearing in a sketch involving Michael and Sebastian – Gay rumours have dogged Tony since he was at university, had long hair and sang in a band.

BLAIR'S A DICK HEAD

2005-04-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

Tony Blair has been called "a complete dickhead" by a leading Spanish politician live on television. The comment was made by Jose Bono, one of the three most powerful figures in the Socialist Party. His remarks were not intended to be heard, but were recorded by a television team while he was talking to Joaquin Almunia, a former Socialist leader. Mr Bono said: "Hey, and our colleague Blair? He's a complete dickhead (un gilipollas integral). He's an imbecile."
The comments contrast with the Spanish prime minister Jose Maria Aznar's carefully cultivated friendship with Mr Blair and will embarrass the Socialists.

BLAIR FORCES CHARLES TO CHANGE WEDDING DATE

2005-04-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

An embarrassed Tony Blair looked sheepish at the Westminster cathedral today, when Prince Charles and Camilla sat next to him. Blair tried to be nice and smile at Charles, who did his best to smile back after a very rough week skiing and drinking.
Blair and his election team are really worried that the Tories have a chance in the next election, to put him out of a job. The Labor election team have decided to use the Pope’s death and the Royal wedding, to up Tony’s image as a caring Prime Minister with an international profile. Horror of all horrors, the Popes funeral and the Royal wedding fell on the same day, Friday the 8th.
Labor contacted Charles’s people and let them know, if he changed his plans, they will see that Camilla becomes Queen. Charles has been grumpy for weeks, as he has tried to manipulate public sentiment towards Camilla, but failed at every turn. Now of all things, he has to move his wedding day because Tony needs the extra days to start the election proper as late as possible. He also has to go to the funeral proper cause his mum told him to and Blair will be there as well. I wonder if they will share the same transport saving taxpayers money
The Labor strategy, for this election, has been all along, not to give the Tory opposition any time to get their campaign into action, while they covertly spread rumours around the country about them.

COVENT GARDEN WORKERS HATE CHERRI

2005-04-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

Covent Garden shop workers run for cover ,when Cherri Blair comes shopping. Cherri and her entourage tear the designer shops apart trying to find clothes she likes, creating more work for the low paid shop workers. She then demands the clothes be tailored to fit her body. Her huge ass is a designers nightmare but she loves her free clothes. Shop owners pissed off at Labour’s business policies have found their luxury central London shops to be a millstone. The taxes and bureaucratic red tape are a nightmare. They constantly live in fear of being closed down by socialist enforcers who hate business entrepreneurs. However they have been able to get their own back, by using his wife and family as a public clothes horse.
Cherri loves running in and out of number 10 in her free bee clothes after they have been tailored and thinks nothing of posing up, for pictures show them off. Cherri has often said she thinks she should have a clothing allowance, as Britain’s first lady. We at The Labor Goss think a paper bag would work!

BROWNS SECRET AGENDA

2005-04-04T09:36:00.000-07:00

Gordon Brown secretly plans to become PM in the next government if Labor wins the May election. Everyone knows, Blair has had trouble with Brown's ego, but has been slippery enough to avoid any of Gordons "Bear Hugs". Brown is famous in Labor circles for giving out crippling bear hugs to rivals, until they submit to his will. Even though Labor have 400 plus MP's, Gordon has secretly been hugging the back benchers, who are terrified of him.
Brown's coup de tart, will be when he publically fires Blair and refuses to give him a front bench position, forcing Blair into becoming a wondering nomad like his old mucker Bill Clinton.

WHO'S BABY IS IT REALLY?

2005-04-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a story that Tony Blair is the father of Kimberley Quinn's latest baby but am a bit short of evidence.

Cd the next person to meet Tony please remove a hair from his head so that I can test it for DNA?

LABOR GOSSIP

2005-04-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

We will print any gossip or stories about Labor in this section. I want you to submitt anything that you heard, as they say there is no smoke without fire.

To start: anyone heard about style Guru Carol Caplin supplying grass to Cherri Blair. I have heard from sourses a paper has the story but has not printed it yet much to the dealers anoyance.